So thankful that God has opened this door and given us the opportunity to have a relationship with C!
Through this relationship I have had the chance to hear C's heart, I have had the chance to hear her side of the story and to be reminded that C and I come from very different places, yet we have the most important things in common.
Through this relationship, I have been able to tell C about my jealousy, and apologize that I didn't always show the love of Christ, I have been able to forgive myself too. Through this relationship, I have been able to hear the heart of my 2 son's birth mom, I have heard her struggles and her heartache. Through this relationship C and I have come together, we have become friends, we have chosen to leave the past in the past and move forward.
We are blessed to live only 45 minutes away from C. So, we set up a meeting just after New Years Day to have dinner together. I know we were both wracked with nerves.
We told the boys the exciting news, and they were both thrilled. They had not seen their BM in almost 3 years. Carson was too small to remember her, but he knew what she looked like as we have shown him pictures and we had talked about her often. Michael, he remembered her. I was anxious to see how they would all interact, what their reactions would be when she arrived at the restaurant and what the conversations would be afterward. I won't even pretend like Satan wasn't throwing curve balls at me the whole way there, he most definitely was. I could already feel jealousy creeping in...I sent those feelings away in the name of JESUS. I prayed for the Lord to guard my heart from those feelings, and HE heard those prayers. He did.
We met at a restaurant. It was my family of 8 and her family of 4. We were there a bit before them, which was good. I was able to get the kiddos situated and then prepare myself for this meeting. Our first get together could not have gone better. It was fabulous. She walked in and I immediately felt my heart relax. The boys were excited to see her. Carson, who was too young to remember her, gave her a huge hug. Michael, always a bit more reserved, also gave her a giant hug. She introduced us all to Michael and Carson's half siblings, Nathan and Ari. What a special night. I got to witness the most precious of moments....Michael and Carson were thrilled to meet their brother and sister, and of course, to see C again after so long.
All of us at dinner together.
Carson with "C"
All 4 of "C's" kiddos
"C" with her boys
"C" with all 4 of her kiddos
I felt like C and I were long lost friends. We have connected so well, and I am so thankful for this relationship. I am in awe of C. This girl has not been given the same luxuries as I have, she did not grow up in the same type of family or situation that I did and she has risen above it all. C had Michael when she was 12 years old, Carson when she was 15 and then 2 children since. She will be 21 in February, and she is wise beyond her years. She has risen above her circumstances, she has chosen to be successful and to provide for her 2 children. She has started a crochet business that has become quite successful (check her business, Crochet Magik out here) She taught herself how to crochet and then figured out what it would take to start a business. Quite the entrepreneur. C is incredibly beautiful, she is smart and she is kind.
God continues to amaze me. He is so faithful. 4 years ago I would have never imagined having an open relationship with C. Back then an open relationship with C wasn't a possibility. Honestly, even if it had been a possibility I am not sure that I would have ever considered it because I was too selfish. Still as the circumstances changed and openness was now a possibility, I still had to work through issues in my own heart.
Part 4 coming this week....
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