God is good....Part 1

I wonder how many posts I have written with that very same title?  No matter how many I have written before, I can promise you there are more to come, because GOD IS GOOD and that isn't going to change.

I want to share a story with you.  One that has blown my socks off.  God is faithful, He hears our cries and He is faithful.

Without going into much detail, because it really isn't my story to tell, I wanted to share something that God has done in our lives recently.

We adopted 2 of our sons through foster care.  They were 3.5 years and 6 months when we got them. They were precious.  Michael was 3.5 and spoke ZERO english, and Carson was a baby.  We got them with the understanding that they would be with us for a week max.  We were told that their grandfather was going to get them permanently, and we would only have them for a week or so.  Well, many of you know how that story ended.  We adopted.  After 2 years as their foster parents, Emory and I adopted 2 of the most precious little boys you will ever meet....now for the story that you don't know!

Emory and I weren't sure what to expect of the "relationship" between us and birth families through foster care.  I think it is a learn as you go type of process.  We had our boys for almost 5 months before we first met, C, their birth mom.  Honestly (and I will just be really honest), we were getting along just fine, until the day our caseworker informed us that C had showed back up and now wants regular visitations.  I am pretty sure that made me angry.  I was mad, scared, and I am sure a billion other feelings were flowing through me. Here is some more honesty for you...I didn't like her and I hadn't even met her.  I made up my mind about this girl before I met her.  I was jealous, I was scared.  I had fallen in love with these 2 children and I was fearful of what it meant that she was back in the picture.

I will spare you all the details of what the next 18 months looked like.  It wasn't pretty.  I am thankful that we fostered through a company that always showed the love of Jesus to birth families, because if they had depended on me to do that, I am certain it was never done.  I was too worried about Courtney to be concerned with the condition of C's heart.  Over the next 18 months, God did a CRAZY work in my heart.  One that I wasn't looking for and was totally unexpected....one that would change the way I think and operate my business, FAC.  (C, as you are reading this I know you had no idea that you impacted our lives so much, another reason we are so blessed by you!)  I found myself hating C, I was jealous of her, she was their birthmom, she was someone I would never be to them, she loved them (which drove me crazy, I think I had hoped it would be easier to hate her if she didn't love them), but it all came down to jealousy, it came down to my heart.  I don't remember the exact moment it happened, I don't remember the circumstance that led me to this next monumental event.....I just remember being flat on my face, on my knees, crying to God.  I remember Him, in that moment, breaking my heart for C!  He made me think of her, of what she was going through, of what her life had been like and he broke me.  He broke my heart for her so that I could love these two little boys more than I already did, he broke my heart for her so that I could love her and pray for her with a genuine heart, he used C to break my heart for all birth moms, changing the way I approach most of the situations through my adoption company.  Our relationship with C wasn't easy.  She wasn't real fond of us and while God had done a work in me, visits were still awkward and uncomfortable.  We went through the motions with C and she with us.