Our Second Home

Well, here we are again, at our second home....Scottish Rite. Emmy is sick AGAIN!! Actually, she isn't sick, she is just running temps of 105 degrees. She has no symptoms, not a one. We have no idea what is going on, but our team of doctors is determined to figure it out. Praise the Lord for that!! We have been here everyday since Tuesday, and admitted on Thursday. She has consistently run fever since Monday afternoon, as the week has progressed her food and liquid intake has slowed and her energy levels have dropped. She is worn out!! Not that I can blame her! Can you? She has been poked in literally every vein in her hands, arms, feet and legs. She has been x-rayed, CT scanned, MRI'd, etc....She is flat tired of this. Me too!! We are ready for answers, unfortunately the current bout of tests they are running are tests that take a while to come back, so we wait. UGH, I hate to wait.

We are meeting with the geneticist, infectious disease and neuro teams today....hopefully, they can at least provide some insight into what they think is the problem. Being that her MRI is so abnormal, there is a small chance that there is damage to the hypothalamus causing her body to be unable to regulate her temps, we will see!

Pray for us as we wait! Pray for Emmy. They will be placing a port in her chest in the very near future, possibly even on Monday if her labs can stabilize. Pray that they do, pray that they can place the port with no complications. Thank you for the prayers!! We appreciate them so much!!! Here are a couple of pics of Miss Emmy!!

Snoozing with Collier

Painting a sun catcher

Meeting Rep. John Lewis

Playing with my new toy!

The "E" Family

Last week, we had the privilege of spending time with one of our precious clients. Their family was in Georgia to adopt a baby, but unfortunately, that is not how things turned out! So, while I wish that we had met under better circumstances, I am still thankful for the chance we had to meet them!! They are an incredible family, and we enjoyed every second of their company, as did our kiddos!!! Here is a pic of all of us together at Pappasito's!!

A MUST READ...

I know many people who read this blog are not adoptive parents. This post is too the many people that ask adoptive families very inappropriate questions, especially in front of our children. I think his post sums up what most of us (adoptive parents) think about those questions.

I thought I would share this blog post written by Dan Pearce. He writes the blog, "Single Dad Laughing". Definitely stop by his blog, www.danoah.com. You won't be disappointed. PS: THey are not all about adoption.

Okay, here comes another "Single Dad Ranting" post. You may laugh, but hopefully only because you see the idiocy and carelessness of some people, bless their hearts. Please, though, this is something that I'm very serious about and I hope you'll listen in.

What do you notice about this photo?

Hopefully you just see a father and son. Maybe you see a beautiful bond. Maybe you see love. Maybe you see two awesome human beings. Hopefully you don't see a damn price tag hanging from Noah's ear or a child who will never know true happiness.

You see, today when I was at the store with Noah, somebody had the nerve to ask me, right in front of Noah, "how much did he cost?" And this was the second time somebody has asked that absolutely ridiculous and insensitive question to me; I know his mom has heard it too.

You may have noticed that Noah is of a slightly different race than his old man. He's a quarter Panamanian, quarter Jamaican, and half Caucasian. Noah is my son. Noah was adopted. Trust me, I couldn't pass on genetics to a kid this beautiful.

And since he was placed with us, his parents, I have learned just how insensitive the world can be to kids who have been placed through adoption. People don't realize how fragile the minds of young children are. People don't realize that wording things certain ways can hurt a child, and badly. And with that, I present to you the following list, all taken from personal experiences in the past three years:

Single Dad Laughing's Guide to Adoption Etiquette.

1. Never, ever, ever, ask how much a child costs. This includes the phrase, "how much did you pay for him?" First of all, it's none of your business. Second of all, if you're interested in adoption, research it through the appropriate channels. Speak with an adoption agency. Adoptive parents don't purchase children. They simply pay legal fees and agency fees. Just like biological parents pay hospital and doctor bills. Don't turn the child into nothing more than a commodity.
2. Never ask if a celebrity inspired the adoption. Believe it or not, Tom Cruise, Connie Chung, and Angelina Jolie did not convince me one way or the other in the biggest decision of my life. Are you serious?
3. Never ask "where is his real dad?" Forget the fact that it will hurt my feelings. How do you think it will affect my son's feelings to feel like I'm not a real dad to him? Adoptive parents are real parents. The term you're looking for is "birth mother" or "birth father".
4. Don't say things like, "as soon as you adopt you're going to get pregnant" when you find out somebody is adopting. First of all, there are usually many, many years of pain and financial burden strapped to infertility, treatments, and heartache. Do you really think that what you're saying will help them? Secondly, while it is funny when it happens, it's rare.
5. Never say, "why did she give him away?" Do I really need to explain why this one would hurt a child? The proper term is "placed". A birth mother and birth father place their child for adoption. And again, it's personal and none of your business, so don't ask if you aren't my BFF.
6. Don't say, "it's like he's your real son". This is similar to number three, but worthy of mentioning. He is my real son, damn it.
7. Don't say, "do you love him as if he was your own?" Ummm... probably more than you love your little terror, that's for sure. And again... he is my own, damn it.
8. Never say things like, "you're so wonderful to adopt a child". I am a parent. Just like anybody else with kids.
9. Don't start spewing your horrible adoption stories. "This one time, my friend's sister's aunt's dog's previous owner's niece adopted a baby and the real dad came back and they took the baby away after they had him for two years." First of all, it probably isn't true. Second of all, how would you feel if I told you about all the ways you could lose your child. Adoption is permanent. And in the extremely rare circumstances that something like that happens, it's not something you should spread because the hurt that exists for all the parties involved must be immeasurable.
10. Don't say things like, "is it hard for him to be adopted?" Well, it wasn't, until you asked me that right in front of him you freaking idiot.
11. I don't want to hear about your second cousin who was on a waiting list for twelve years and never got a baby. Granted, this one was much more annoying when we were going through the adoption process. Nobody wants to know that some people never get chosen. Show some kindness. Even to ugly people.

That's all I can think of right now, but I know there are more. Just be sensitive. Don't put your nose where it doesn't belong. Respect my father-son relationship for what it is and don't lessen it. Don't talk about my son like he's not even there or too little to understand. Or do, if you're okay with a swift kick to the face.

I understand that I'm not being super politically correct here, but I'm a little bit pissed off about what happened today. And understandably, so is the old woman I sent away in an ambulance. I know she meant no harm.

Dan Pearce, Single Adoptive Dad Laughing

PS, please post this one on Facebook and Twitter. Most people have good intentions but really say some horrible things without ever knowing it. This is one bit of education that needs to be passed on.

Tomorrow, I'll share with you the non-private details of how Noah came into our lives. It's a beautiful story. Click here to read it. "Noah. A beautiful tale of adoption."

Adoption....

I know for Emory and I there were times throughout each of our 4 adoptions, that we truly questioned whether or not we could handle anymore. Adoption is not easy. It is an emotional journey. There is heartache, there is hurt, frustration and so much more.....but, the JOY at the end of the road is so much greater than the heartache. Ask any person that has adopted, even the person that got their baby on the first birth mom presentation, ask them if they endured heartache or frustration. They did. Of course, there are varying degrees, and it all depends on how long you have been on the journey and the circumstances you have walked through, but as adoptive parents, we have all suffered an emotional roller coaster.

The Lord never promised an easy path. Instead, He promised that He would be with us and that it would all be worth it in the end.

We were commanded to take care of the orphans in James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." He commanded us to take care of the widows and the orphans, He didn't say take care of them and I will make it easy, or that we would understand each path that He would take us down, He just said to do it.

I love my job as an adoption consultant. I love it! It brings me such joy to watch the Lord build families through adoption, it brings a smile to my face to see these orphans rescued, to see Christian families being obedient. I love it! However, it doesn't come without a price either....luckily, there are many more happy days, than sad ones....but, the sad ones are hard. My clients are my friends, they are brothers and sisters in Christ, I love each of them dearly and it is difficult to watch them go through the journey that is adoption. I know in the end, they will have a baby, I know that once they hold their baby, it will have all been worth it, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch them hurting NOW.

The Lord tells us in Galatians 6:2, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." We have to support each other through the adoption journey, we have to pray for one another, really lift each other up to the Lord.

We have to believe Jeremiah 29:11 each step of the way, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We have to trust that if the Lord commanded us to do something, that He will be with us every step of the way, we have to believe Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

No, the adoption journey is not an easy one. It is not easy to watch your friends and family go through the heartache, frustration and disappointments that they will most likely encounter. However, I know for each one of my clients that has experienced heartache along the way, knows that the Lord is directing their steps, knows they were commanded to take this journey, and knows that they cannot turn back, although sometimes that is all we want to do.

We know that Proverbs 24:12 says, "Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act."

I say all this to say, I know the road to your child is not an easy one, but you can rest assured that I am on my knees daily for each of my clients, my friends, lifting you up to the One that commanded you to rescue the orphans, and to the One that directs your steps! Praise the Lord that we don't have to walk the adoption road alone, Praise the Lord that He is there every step of the way!

He is good!!!

Now to Him Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...to Him be the glory." Eph. 3:20

My little lion....

Pictures, Pictures and more pictures....

When you are in the hospital for 8 days with 2 of your kiddos, you have nothing, but TIME. I took a lot of pictures! Here they are!!

Collier loving his floor mat....or at the hospital....on the bed mat!!

Emmy...sound asleep!

This hat makes her look jamaican!

Sleeping Beauty!

Sweet siblings!

Respiratory therapy is no fun....but love my baby brother sleeping next to me!

Wearing Uncle Parker's OR cap!

Soooo cute!

Always stylin'

Emmy Update:

I feel like I am posting a lot of these lately, but there is a lot going on with Miss Priss lately!! I spoke with her hematologist today, and they told me that all of her viral panels, including her parvo titers were negative. That is great news!! Although, it doesn't explain why she keeps running these fevers, and it also lends itself more to the fact that there is truly a secondary disease involved and maybe it is causing her brain to make her internal thermometer malfunction! Which is very scary to me! But, maybe it doesn't mean that at all, I mean it's not like they can test for every viral disease out there, right!! Sorry for the inner dialogue here!! I am convincing myself of a lot of things these days! Waiting on such important information is very difficult! Pray for me...pray that I can be patient and not drive myself crazy as I wait!!

Here is a cute pic of me with Collier and Emmy earlier this afternoon!! This weather has been perfect for the past few days and we have enjoyed playing outside!